Mystery Cookies

Posted: December 21, 2007 in Uncategorized

So I got home from work yesterday and did my normal routine of first seeing how far away from the house I can be to open my garage door with the opener. It’s always the same place, but I still firmly believe I can make it go further. After opening the garage door I drive up to my mailbox to get all the bills and junk mail out, and just have the slight excitment that maybe there is something worthwhile that someone mailed me. There wasn’t. This day however was unusual. As I opened the door to the box, I noticed a nice zip lock bag with four homemade cookies in it. My first thought was “how nice of one of my neighbors to bring me some holiday cookies,” but there was no note. NO NOTE! How can there be no note? You have to at least tape your name to a card that says Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays or something. Nope, nothing! To me, that’s just not proper cookie etiquette. So that led me to thought two: “this reminds me of my third grade class when Mrs. Price brought in that old scary lady who was teaching us what to look for in bad Halloween candy.” Then it hit me. Who was that lady? Was she a candy specialist? I don’t know why I never thought of it till now, but why couldn’t Mrs. Price give us all those warning signs of bad candy? Is there really some special skills needed to spot bad candy, and if there is, how did that old lady come to that knowledge? Whoever she was, she has scared me for the last 21 years of my life into really checking every piece of candy and treats to see if they could have been poisoned. Yep I said it, poisoned. So that’s where I was at yesterday with the ole poison thought in my mind. So I immediately swithced into Jason Bourne mode and asked myself a question. “What do I do now?” It didn’t take me long to come to a conclusion. I dispose of the cookies immediately, and not in my mouth, but in the garbage. Yes, that’s right, I threw them away. I know all about the starving people all over the world that would have loved those cookies, but I felt my life in danger yesterday and I had to take action. So I did. And the old scary lady in my third grade class would have been proud…even if you’re not.

  1. Jeramy says:

    Dude, I would have tested those cookies thoroughly. Happy New Year!

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